pipSqueek

It didnt surprise me when I heard her ex is now the girlfriend of a common friend. What was of concern initially was the horrifying stories of the ex being the girlfriend from hell.

Life has its way of telling its story. We managed to sit down for a proper conversation. A conversation that warmed our hearts, had us in stitches from laughing too hard, and deep enough to share our worst thoughts. And from that conversation, the girlfriend is an asset worth her heart and life.

I kept mum of my knowledge of her history. That is one of those things unnecessary to say. I reserved my doubts to myself. Till I have them together in front of me.

Without a doubt, they are good, together and separately. There was nothing to worry about, to be concerned about. I am happy to see such wonderful relationship.

The best thing about it is they are aware whats compatible, what works and do whats right for their life. Not many live in truths; most live in lies.

Despite all thats happening in my life.

“Im feeling.. well, frisky,” she sighed, hugging her legs together.

May I be of assistance, I leaned forward, resting my chin on my legs, turning my face to her.

“Dont joke around. I might just take up that offer,” she laughed, resting her chin on her legs, mirroring my stance.

You are the only one laughing, I held her gaze. She breathed in and leaned back, “You are serious.”

It is a win-win situation. Im helping you to release that physical frustation, and I get to practise my skills. Im just a very helpful friend, and you are providing me useful feedback.

She laughed, running her hands through her short hair; her usual sign of being nervous. “I dont want to risk our friendship.”

Three rules. One, its only for tonight, one night. No matter how good it is, it ends in the day. If its bad, well, theres nothing much to say is there. Two, nobody is to know of this. I may be a statistic, but I cannot be named in your list. Three, it cannot affect our friendship. We go on as if it has never happened.

“Very attractive offer,” she smiled, “And a very uncomfortable moment.” I turned to her with a gentle smile.

At this moment. I need a yes, and its sure a more pleasant, even thrilling, next moment.

A second later, “Yes.”

That is my vision of you, of us. That is all I need you to say.

I seldom watch TV these days. Working late and studying with whatever time left, and theres no Sarah Shahi incentive anymore, I only get to face the TV while having my meals, to catch bits of the Wimbledon matches.

Now when that is over, I flipped through StarWorld and settled on watching re-runs of the Friends sitcom. It was an episode in season 8, where Joey confessed his feelings to Rachel.

He said, “I think Im falling in love with you.”

I stopped shoving food into my mouth, then remembered to breathe. That line has been running in my head for so long. It was part of our conversation scripted in my head. I am as anal in my dreams as I am in real life. Not only is the vision vivid, the conversation is as clear.

She sat quietly on my right as I watched the waves crashing onshore. I could sense her restlessness, as though she was thinking and having a debate within herself. I let her be, knowing very well that she would speak her mind soon.

“Theres something I want to talk to you about.” I turned my face, oh yeah, what about. She glanced over then kept her eyes straight out at the sea. “I dont know how to say it. Or should I even say it. Its just not easy.”

I smiled and turned around to face her, its just me. Since when do we have this difficulty of talking. We talk about everything. Well, at least I do; talk to you about everything in my life.

She turned to me, smiling. Her eyes searching mine for some kind of assurance. “I do tell you everything in mine. You are the only one who know me.” She kept quiet for a moment, trying to find the words she need. “So who am I to you?”

My best friend. My only friend. My confidante. My partner in crime. What exactly are you trying to find out here?

She took a deep breath, her eyes hoping for an answer shes asking for, “I think Im falling in love with you.”

That is my vision of you, of us. That is all I need you to say.

Last night gave proof to The Secret of Life. You can poo and make fun of it. As long you dont totally believe it, it would never show itself to you.

She said, “Imagine yourself driving it. Really. Just see yourself in there.” I knew she wanted it badly. I smiled, saying to myself I really want her to have the opportunity.

In less than 5 minutes, her name was called out from a box of many names. A second to recover from our shock and she walked up to collect her prized win. My heart jumped, not only because of surprise, but once again, and too many times recently, the workings of life showed its hands.

She said, “You still have a chance. Think hard.” I shook my head, not possible.

Not because I dont believe in the workings, but because I was already programmed since youth that I would never buy a Mercedes. I had never liked it and never had put it up for consideration. Even before we reach the event, I reiterated my thoughts.

In my head, in my heart, in my eyes, on my skin is my Camry 2.4. While she became the Ambassador of Mercedes Benz.

When somebody leaves my life, I accept it as part and parcel of living. Everybody has their own course and most times they have to take the road without me. Just like I left for London, leaving everything and everybody I knew behind.

So its alright when she left. My life continued and memory of her existence was kept through online communications. And just like any other friends who are living overseas, when she came back, it was like, shrug, shes back. Ok, lets meet.

I guess Im used to my close friends being out of the country most times and flying in for a couple of weeks, that Im quite nonchalant about meeting them. We would meet, update each other, and before we can bridge the gap and get cozy, they leave again. I stopped missing them.

Meeting her again was just like any other times she dropped in for a visit. I cant say we are close friends, or that I know her very well. I do know we had shared our personal life quite abit and Im comfortable telling her my secrets and thoughts.

After spending that many hours a couple of days back and the comfortable silence became familiar again, I realised her absence in my life for the last two years. And that her absence made a difference. It wasnt that I needed her or wanted her to be around.

Its just that she is a large part of my life. She always has been. And it took her absence to substantiate that.

I cannot believe the major upsets at Wimbledon Ladies Singles.

Some of the matches were not even worth watching. Hey, I watched the matches because of brilliant plays, not for the good looking players. Still, theres no incentive to sit through a game watching bulky ladies bullying their way through serves. And watching unforced errors goad my frustations.

I know its not easy to play on grass. And my skills is not even a tenth of theirs. I watch the matches for inspiration and I get none.

Oh well, at least I know I miss playing the game. I remembered how I started on it. I was watching a game on the television while my parents talked to their friends, and I was fascinated with the serves and volleys. When my parents asked me what I want as reward to my great PSLE results, my answer was quick and precise - tennis.

They were surprised that I knew of the game. We had been playing badminton as a family since I was six and tennis was never part of our life. They reckoned its ok since its still a sport. So they engaged a private coach at $60 an hour for twice a week two hours each, bought an almost $300 Prince racket and a pair of Nike tennis shoes, and shuttled me to and fro for my lessons. At that point of time, it was the most expensive thing they spent on me, more than my piano lessons, speech and drama classes, art lessons and tuitions.

It went on for about two years, till they think I had too much tennis in my life with my private lessons and my secondary school teams training. Yes, Im a spoilt brat. Never denied it. My parents always give me the best.

You rarely see me with a temper at everyday circumstances, but you would see lots of that on the tennis court. My coaches always had to tell me to check in my temper and not be angry. The angrier I got, the worse was my play, and the angrier I became. I only won competitions that I had control over my emotions. So I stopped competing and played for leisure.

Ive not played for two years now and thrown my old racket. I wondered how it feels like holding one now and playing. My life has changed, I have changed. Would my tennis has changed?

Watch the movie only if -

• you love action flicks
• you want to see sexy Angelina Jolie move

Dont bother for any other reason.

I love the photographic direction. The only other movie this year I would say is as good as this cinematography is The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian.

AJ drives me crazy just by smiling. And yes, its obvious she had a nose job done.